How Far Will You Go?
This world is changing and as each day passes we are connecting with each other around the world more and more. This connectivity is good for many things, and relationships can be one of them. We have access to basically talk to whoever we want no matter where they live, and relationship wise this is huge because it gives us more freedom to date who we want. This isn't the 1800s, were not forced into arranged marriages, or stuck in our home town where we end up marrying the person three doors down. We have the ability to commit to long distance relationships.
The question is: are you willing to make that chance?
Alyssa's perspective:
Okay, so I am a firm believer that your soulmate isn't living next door to you unless you just happen to be extremely lucky. However, I am very torn on the idea of long distance relationships. They can either be an amazing experience or break your heart, but I mean so can any other relationship. Long distance relationships are a BIG risk, and it just depends on the relationship between the two people. I'm gonna break this down into three categories: my experience, the factors in the relationship, and the positives and negatives of long distance relationships.
So I grew up in a really small town, and I mean really small, my dating pool consisted of like three people, and the chemistry just wasn't there, so I turned to the good ole interwebs to find myself a woman. When I was 17 (yeah I know I was young), I was in a group chat with people all over the world, and it was great. However, I connected with someone in this group chat which later became more than a friendship. We texted nonstop, we snapchatted every day, and we even face-timed every night into the next day. We made hella plans for our future and going to college together and whatnot but it was really hard not being able to see her and actually be with her. We ended up breaking it off when we left for college because we were still hundreds of miles apart and life got too busy. Overall it was a good relationship, and we both gained a lot from it but its just really hard to keep up with long-distance relationships.
Alright so as I've said being in a long distance relationship is hard. There are many factors that go into relationships like trust, the amount of distance, the length of time before you see each other, and the amount of communication. You could have a good ass relationship with terrible communication and it not work out. It's not as easy as people say it is, you have to be there whenever your significant other needs you without actually being there and it sucks. There's only so much you can say over the phone. It's one thing to live like two hours apart because you can easily travel to see each other, but when the relationship is 900 miles apart, it's very difficult especially if you're a young college kid that is most likely broke. Overall if you take anything from this post know that a long distance relationship is HARD.
Some benefits of a long distance relationship are you could potentially be using your time to connect with the love of your life and learn so much about other cultures and social norms. Honestly, if the connection is there its so good, you can be there every day on the phone, and it's like being with them in real life. Its like college the highs are high, and the lows are extremely low. There are obviously many negatives in these types of situations, but the biggest one is when things don't work out. Being in a relationship is a huge risk, and it's so much harder when you can't be there physically with your significant other.
My last thing to say about long distance relationships is that it's doable like it totally can happen and work out fine, but the chances are very slim. If your gonna be in a long distance relationship you have to BE there and work with the person because if you have a bad day, you can't just ignore your phone, that's a main source of communication. COMMUNICATION IS KEY IN ANY RELATIONSHIP. I would have to really be invested in a person to commit to a long distance relationship again. I'm gonna say this again because its so true, a long distance relationship is hard. Just trust me on that one if you haven't figured it out already.
Nash's perspective:
I agree with what a lot of what my sister has said. I've been in a long distance relationship. Well, its the only relationship I've ever been in, but hey it lasted for a while. So here we go.
I met this dude through Hot or Not (WHAT? I WAS 16 OKAY!), and he lived in North Carolina while I lived in South Carolina. So when we first started talking, it was just that. Talking. We both had to work and go to school and afterward we had track and soccer. Well, eventually we got brave enough to get each other's phone numbers and emails to be able to face time. 1 Gotta make sure you aren't getting catfished. So when we started to face time we put a lot of effort into it. Like, face timing every night and falling asleep on the phone. So now that we were invested, we had to figure out a way to see each other. He wasn't actually out yet when we got this invested into each other, so the only option was to meet at my house. Luckily my parents were letting him come over for a weekend to see me. So he came and visited, and that's when we officially started dating. Now, this is where the long distance starts to come into play. Movies portray it as this easy thing where it can be hard, but they're just a hop, skip and a jump away. Well, I don't know about y'all, but my pockets aren't loaded with money. It's really hard but if it works. You'll never experience it twice. We texted every day, but we had to make sure it wasn't just texting. I started working more just so I could drive up to see him and he would do the same for me. We sometimes would go a month or two without seeing each other, and it got hard. Life gets in the way. Patience is needed. Love is needed, and a whole ass amount of trust has to be given. It was well worth it though, and I think you learn how to love harder because of the distance.
My sister isn't wrong. Communication was a major reason we lasted well into college. It wasn't just because we wanted to work out. We had to prove it to each other. Put in the hours. The emotional assistance, the wants, and needs of someone is hard to provide when you live three hours away, but hey we did it. Somehow, we did it. Now see communication seems like the hard part no? Well for me that wasn't hard at all. It was the TRUST I had to give to him. The idea of letting someone have control over my emotional state even though I never actually told him he had power was terrifying. I had to trust that he wouldn't cheat, get bored of me or ruin the idea of a relationship with me. Y'all, that shit is SOOOOOOOOO hard especially after the history our mother has had with men. Alyssa and I's trust skills are horrible lol. Yet somehow I allowed myself to fall for a boy who lived three hours away. Guess that means anything is possible right?
I always do a poll the day before we post because I want to see what the majority of my followers/friends think about the topic at hand. I expected almost all to say no thanks to trying to go the distance. When the pole was completed earlier this morning, I was extremely shocked to see the numbers. If I remember correctly, a whopping 69% of my followers said they would be willing to go the distance for a relationship. I was like OOF, because that means that people actually can trust someone so far away with something so important like emotions. It made me smile because even though that boy and I aren't together anymore. I'd be down for a long distance and it seems like a lot of you would be too! Now is this because of the fact that we can fly or drive almost anywhere in the world or is it because the world is at our fingertips??
I, in fact, was trying to get this boy to like me from another state. I may or may have not recently told him I liked him, and I think he understood that gave him power over me because now I've been ghosted for four days now. Boo hoo, me, right? Nahhhh, just means I don't think he could handle a long distance relationship. Not everyone is built for it. There are so many things that have to happen for it to work. Flying, driving, communication, long nights up and the headache in the morning afterward. The sexual need to be with someone doesn't help either. I mean I know its weird to talk about but Y'all I KNOW you want to have sex with your partner whether they are close or far away. I know I would. Hell relationships are hard enough when they are close! Now add distance to it?? It's just stressful but can be extremely rewarding. I don't know about you, but I'm willing to put in all my chips if that means I find the person I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life.
So with all this, do you think you could do a long distance relationship?
Nash's perspective:
I agree with what a lot of what my sister has said. I've been in a long distance relationship. Well, its the only relationship I've ever been in, but hey it lasted for a while. So here we go.
I met this dude through Hot or Not (WHAT? I WAS 16 OKAY!), and he lived in North Carolina while I lived in South Carolina. So when we first started talking, it was just that. Talking. We both had to work and go to school and afterward we had track and soccer. Well, eventually we got brave enough to get each other's phone numbers and emails to be able to face time. 1 Gotta make sure you aren't getting catfished. So when we started to face time we put a lot of effort into it. Like, face timing every night and falling asleep on the phone. So now that we were invested, we had to figure out a way to see each other. He wasn't actually out yet when we got this invested into each other, so the only option was to meet at my house. Luckily my parents were letting him come over for a weekend to see me. So he came and visited, and that's when we officially started dating. Now, this is where the long distance starts to come into play. Movies portray it as this easy thing where it can be hard, but they're just a hop, skip and a jump away. Well, I don't know about y'all, but my pockets aren't loaded with money. It's really hard but if it works. You'll never experience it twice. We texted every day, but we had to make sure it wasn't just texting. I started working more just so I could drive up to see him and he would do the same for me. We sometimes would go a month or two without seeing each other, and it got hard. Life gets in the way. Patience is needed. Love is needed, and a whole ass amount of trust has to be given. It was well worth it though, and I think you learn how to love harder because of the distance.
My sister isn't wrong. Communication was a major reason we lasted well into college. It wasn't just because we wanted to work out. We had to prove it to each other. Put in the hours. The emotional assistance, the wants, and needs of someone is hard to provide when you live three hours away, but hey we did it. Somehow, we did it. Now see communication seems like the hard part no? Well for me that wasn't hard at all. It was the TRUST I had to give to him. The idea of letting someone have control over my emotional state even though I never actually told him he had power was terrifying. I had to trust that he wouldn't cheat, get bored of me or ruin the idea of a relationship with me. Y'all, that shit is SOOOOOOOOO hard especially after the history our mother has had with men. Alyssa and I's trust skills are horrible lol. Yet somehow I allowed myself to fall for a boy who lived three hours away. Guess that means anything is possible right?
I always do a poll the day before we post because I want to see what the majority of my followers/friends think about the topic at hand. I expected almost all to say no thanks to trying to go the distance. When the pole was completed earlier this morning, I was extremely shocked to see the numbers. If I remember correctly, a whopping 69% of my followers said they would be willing to go the distance for a relationship. I was like OOF, because that means that people actually can trust someone so far away with something so important like emotions. It made me smile because even though that boy and I aren't together anymore. I'd be down for a long distance and it seems like a lot of you would be too! Now is this because of the fact that we can fly or drive almost anywhere in the world or is it because the world is at our fingertips??
I, in fact, was trying to get this boy to like me from another state. I may or may have not recently told him I liked him, and I think he understood that gave him power over me because now I've been ghosted for four days now. Boo hoo, me, right? Nahhhh, just means I don't think he could handle a long distance relationship. Not everyone is built for it. There are so many things that have to happen for it to work. Flying, driving, communication, long nights up and the headache in the morning afterward. The sexual need to be with someone doesn't help either. I mean I know its weird to talk about but Y'all I KNOW you want to have sex with your partner whether they are close or far away. I know I would. Hell relationships are hard enough when they are close! Now add distance to it?? It's just stressful but can be extremely rewarding. I don't know about you, but I'm willing to put in all my chips if that means I find the person I'm meant to be with for the rest of my life.
So with all this, do you think you could do a long distance relationship?
Consensus:
Well, it seems we both agree that communication is extremely important. What we do believe though is that it's really up to the two individuals. Dating apps have made it extremely easy to match with people all over the world. Does that mean you should jump into the dating pool? Are you ready for that kind of commitment? If not, get the hell out and do a closer distance. If yes though, get ready, pack those bags and have one hell of a roller coaster ride. Y'all know IT JUST BE LIKE THAT sometimes š¤·♂️š¤·♀️ because no one knows How Far You Will Go Except You.
P.S. - Now this is a really terrifying topic because it's a lot of work, but what do y'all think? The feedback on this one could help out on a lot of other topics! So let us know what you think. If you don't want to respond here. Our social media's are on the page <3 - Nash
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